Oh dear. Oh dear

I think that's what you call a travesty.

I missed Saturday's show because we had far too many children running around in the back garden in the rain and wind while my husband manfully tried to light soggy fireworks, but I caught up via the SCD website and Marie's blog.

The dances I loved were Tom's (hilarious hilarious but so fleet of foot), Cherie's (way to go Cherie, but you need to crack Latin if you're going to get into the final), surprisingly Lisa's as I haven't been that fond of her up until now, and Rachel's.

Heather's tango was by far the best dance she's done all series, and Christine's jive was just ... dull. I cannot understand at all Christine's appeal. I can only imagine she has a lot of fans on The One Show (which I have never ever watched so don't get at all why she's so popular).

My two personal favourites in the competition John and Jodie were both rubbish this week (although John just makes me laugh out loud, the way he hams up his crap dancing), and I have to reluctantly concede that it isn't actually fair any more if either of them stay in because they can't really dance and all the others (including boring Christine) can.

So I was convinced the dance off was going to be between those two and that John would be kicked off because you can just SEE the judges are desperate to get rid of him (1 from Craig for entertainment? C'me on I get the 1 for the lack of dancing ability but John certainly entertains, if not necessarily for the right reasons).

But then blow me down with a feather the great British Public voted (if ever there was a reason for not giving the masses the vote its watching how they behave on competitions like this) so Heather and Brian were in the dance off with ... Rachel and Vincent. Neither of them deserved to be there, though Rachel is definitely the best dancer so the best woman won, but still...

Any more of this and I might have to boycott the programme.

Surely next week we have to see John in the dance off? Much as I love him it is time for him to go. (Besides I've finished the book on which I've modelled his character, so I don't need him anymore...)

But with the great BP in control of the voting, who can tell what the outcome will be? We'll probably end up with Austin and Tom in the dance off when really they should be both be twinkling their way to the final...